Sunday, November 27, 2011

Grammar!

I'm not sure if this has been posted before, but even if it has, it deserves a re-post.  I plugged my thumb drive in after finding it in a drawer where it had been resting for about 3 years, and I discovered a document entitled "grammar blog."  I wrote it when I was living in Utah and it made me laugh :)  Here it is, in all its glory:


   This is a public service announcement.  I just wanted to inform you all of the proper way to pronounce some key words that are surely in your vocabulary.  Worrying about these things never really meant a lot to me but for some reason they have really started to bother me lately.  I think it may be because in Utah, there are certain accent oddities they have here that REALLY bug and they have got me thinking. 
 
   For example, Utahns cannot physically say an S after an L- it’s just too much and they have to convert them to a T and a Z.  Think Kelsey.  No, no, too hard.  It must be said Keltzy.  Weird.   

    At any rate, I am now ashamed of the time in my life when I laughed at the ridiculous (or at least what I formerly considered to be ridiculous) activities sponsored by a certain AP English teacher at my high school and carried out by students who would go around at night and correct the grammar and spelling errors on large signs and businesses with big, black Sharpies.  Now I honor them, and I wish that they had been around last week when I saw a big sign that said “HUG YARD SALE”…yeah.

It should be:                                                Not:

Annunciate or Pronounce…                        Pronounciate or Pronunciate (not real words)

Across…                                                     Acrost (not a word, sounds very ignorant)

Poem (poe-em)…                                       Pome (the E is not on the end for a reason)

Pillow…                                                     Pellow (just flat-out wrong)

Crayon (think yawn)…                              Cran (it’s not a berry, it’s a medium)

Wolf (there is clearly an L)…                    Woof (that’s the sound a dog makes)

Regardless…                                              Irregardless (not a word)


And there are many, many more.  Often, you just need to look at the real spelling, and the real sounds are right there in front of you- voila!  If you’re still learning the language, that’s one thing, but most of us have spoken English our entire lives and probably don’t even really know any other languages!  We should try to get it right.  Obviously I don’t have perfect spelling, grammar, or pronunciation (there are probably several written errors in this one post!), and obviously this is coming with my West Coast linguistic bias, but I have been trying to be a little more careful and hoping that you will do the same.  Consider yourself publicly served.

4 comments:

  1. Sorry for the confusing top right line continuing to the bottom left line-ness...just read left to right, you know, the way that English usually goes...

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  2. I don't normally make comments on blogs of people who don't know me. My mom (Kathy Perrins) has your blog listed on hers.

    This is such a funny subject to me. Being from Washinton State, the Utah venacular continues to crack me up...and mystify me. I just couldn't help adding to your list:

    Pregnant becomes pregnut
    Ignorant, ignert
    Granted, granite
    Having to, halfening to
    favorite, fave-right
    Relief Society, Release Society
    Creek, crick

    ...I could go on and on!

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  3. So fun - thanks

    In the last couple of years the way the word often is pronounced has changed - it drives me up the wall. Of course I am 71 yrs old but- we were taught never ever to pronounce the t. Now all I here is off ten. Why?? I was so bothered by it that I went to the dictionary and of all the revolting developments it now says that either way is correct. Never!

    Lin, Kathy Perrins is a good friend of mine.

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  4. Yes, Danielle! The granted/granite mix-up drives me CRAZY! Thanks for sharing :)

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