Sunday, November 27, 2011

Grammar!

I'm not sure if this has been posted before, but even if it has, it deserves a re-post.  I plugged my thumb drive in after finding it in a drawer where it had been resting for about 3 years, and I discovered a document entitled "grammar blog."  I wrote it when I was living in Utah and it made me laugh :)  Here it is, in all its glory:


   This is a public service announcement.  I just wanted to inform you all of the proper way to pronounce some key words that are surely in your vocabulary.  Worrying about these things never really meant a lot to me but for some reason they have really started to bother me lately.  I think it may be because in Utah, there are certain accent oddities they have here that REALLY bug and they have got me thinking. 
 
   For example, Utahns cannot physically say an S after an L- it’s just too much and they have to convert them to a T and a Z.  Think Kelsey.  No, no, too hard.  It must be said Keltzy.  Weird.   

    At any rate, I am now ashamed of the time in my life when I laughed at the ridiculous (or at least what I formerly considered to be ridiculous) activities sponsored by a certain AP English teacher at my high school and carried out by students who would go around at night and correct the grammar and spelling errors on large signs and businesses with big, black Sharpies.  Now I honor them, and I wish that they had been around last week when I saw a big sign that said “HUG YARD SALE”…yeah.

It should be:                                                Not:

Annunciate or Pronounce…                        Pronounciate or Pronunciate (not real words)

Across…                                                     Acrost (not a word, sounds very ignorant)

Poem (poe-em)…                                       Pome (the E is not on the end for a reason)

Pillow…                                                     Pellow (just flat-out wrong)

Crayon (think yawn)…                              Cran (it’s not a berry, it’s a medium)

Wolf (there is clearly an L)…                    Woof (that’s the sound a dog makes)

Regardless…                                              Irregardless (not a word)


And there are many, many more.  Often, you just need to look at the real spelling, and the real sounds are right there in front of you- voila!  If you’re still learning the language, that’s one thing, but most of us have spoken English our entire lives and probably don’t even really know any other languages!  We should try to get it right.  Obviously I don’t have perfect spelling, grammar, or pronunciation (there are probably several written errors in this one post!), and obviously this is coming with my West Coast linguistic bias, but I have been trying to be a little more careful and hoping that you will do the same.  Consider yourself publicly served.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Hershey Half! :D

Well friends and fam, I did it- I lived!  My first (and probably last) half marathon, and SUB-2 no less! (that's fancy runner lingo for "in less than 2 hours")
Pretty legit photo, right??

Yes, that's right, with my nerdy fuel belt and high visibility shorts, I made my 13.1 mile run in an hour and 55 minutes.  To put the distance into perspective, that's a 5K...plus ten miles.  It's far.  Next time you're on the freeway, examine you odometer and make a note at how long it takes to go 13 miles IN A CAR...and how much road you have left behind in the meanwhile...you get the picture, it's FAR!

So since it was the Hershey Half Marathon --which is cool because it benefits the Penn State Hershey Medical Center Children's Hospital as well as the Children's Miracle Network-- I got not only a medal in the shape of a Hershey kiss, but - you got it- free chocolate!  And some photos with those cute little Hershey Park characters!  So many perks...





Here is the BEFORE photo...a little too eager beaver considering what I'm about to make myself do...

And here is the AFTER with Kendrick, that is, this was after I about fell down several times and when I directly disobeyed orders to NOT take water from that unopened packages (in my head: screw you guys, I just ran a half marathon and IM THIRSTY and you've just been sitting here giving out space blankets!!!)



Yep, that's my medal.


So after my shower and after getting a space blanket of my own (I really don't know why they were giving those out...) I wrapped up in it and pretended to be a Hershey kiss myself!

Dork, I know.  I wasn't operating on full brain capacity at this point, so whatever.


And then for the chocolate tasting!

And of course, it was only a matter of time before the major CRASH!





And I haven't run since.  The End.